Comments on: Dream http://mychildrenmademethisway.today.com/2009/06/01/dream/ musings from motherhood. Mon, 28 Dec 2009 06:19:36 +0000 http://www.today.com/version-2.3.1 By: ladysdreamin http://mychildrenmademethisway.today.com/2009/06/01/dream/#comment-67 ladysdreamin Tue, 02 Jun 2009 06:54:47 +0000 http://mychildrenmademethisway.today.com/2009/06/01/dream/#comment-67 lol..no, not 6am, but very valid points. And yes, my youngest hits 6 in 9 days and has spent his first year in school. It's certainly the combo of that and the eldest hitting 13 I think. I've thought it before, just this time it was at 6am with a computer on and a place to actually voice it. :P Thanks for the input, it is much appreciated. lol..no, not 6am, but very valid points. And yes, my youngest hits 6 in 9 days and has spent his first year in school. It’s certainly the combo of that and the eldest hitting 13 I think. I’ve thought it before, just this time it was at 6am with a computer on and a place to actually voice it. :P Thanks for the input, it is much appreciated.

]]> By: Senara http://mychildrenmademethisway.today.com/2009/06/01/dream/#comment-66 Senara Tue, 02 Jun 2009 03:44:09 +0000 http://mychildrenmademethisway.today.com/2009/06/01/dream/#comment-66 Oh you do get deep when you are sleep deprived, dontcha? What is the age of your youngest? I suspect about the age that one is getting more independent. That is about the age mom's and dad's start to recall a little that they are more than just mom and dad. I think everyone with any sense worries that they should be perfectly selfless for their children. And, no doubt, there are folks that are wayyy entirely to selfish to be ever chosen to be parents. But, I agree, parents have to have self, children learn from parents, and their skill sets. You learn to be independent yet concerned for others, with empathy for things outside yourself by watching those very things. There has to be balance between selfless caregiver and the care and feeding of one's own needs and wants. Really that is true for any relationship whether its parent and child, friends, lovers, or married folk. How many young adults do you know that were catered to for every moment of their lives and handed the world ... and yet they turned into not fabulous adults but selfish twits that cannot see or feel beyond the length of their own nose on their own face. Because the world does indeed only revolve around theire desires after all....that is what mommy and daddy taught them after all. I digress, but sense of self is a good thing, and a little selflessness is a good thing, as is leading by example. You stop alot of yourself when the children are small because so much has to be devoted to them, as well it should be. They are tiny, and they need all your attention and more. But parents, if they hope to be healthy (not to mention remain parents - as in plural and two of them working together) have to recall at the point the children cease to be tiny and all consuming that it is ok to be adults and individuals again too. Many people lose more than just dreams. There have been more than a few marriages crash and burn because mom and dad forgot that they were people, individuals with lives all their own that require care and tending as well. Man and woman with adult needs, hopes, and dreams of their own. I only have my mother left alive these days, and I have to say that I enjoy very much and have always enjoyed very much getting to know her as a person outside the role of mother. For every bit as much as I learned from her as a parent, there was only that much more I learned from her as an independent person with rich and varied life experiences. There, nah, and it wasn't even 6 am. Oh you do get deep when you are sleep deprived, dontcha? What is the age of your youngest? I suspect about the age that one is getting more independent. That is about the age mom’s and dad’s start to recall a little that they are more than just mom and dad.

I think everyone with any sense worries that they should be perfectly selfless for their children. And, no doubt, there are folks that are wayyy entirely to selfish to be ever chosen to be parents. But, I agree, parents have to have self, children learn from parents, and their skill sets. You learn to be independent yet concerned for others, with empathy for things outside yourself by watching those very things. There has to be balance between selfless caregiver and the care and feeding of one’s own needs and wants. Really that is true for any relationship whether its parent and child, friends, lovers, or married folk.

How many young adults do you know that were catered to for every moment of their lives and handed the world … and yet they turned into not fabulous adults but selfish twits that cannot see or feel beyond the length of their own nose on their own face. Because the world does indeed only revolve around theire desires after all….that is what mommy and daddy taught them after all.

I digress, but sense of self is a good thing, and a little selflessness is a good thing, as is leading by example. You stop alot of yourself when the children are small because so much has to be devoted to them, as well it should be. They are tiny, and they need all your attention and more. But parents, if they hope to be healthy (not to mention remain parents - as in plural and two of them working together) have to recall at the point the children cease to be tiny and all consuming that it is ok to be adults and individuals again too.

Many people lose more than just dreams. There have been more than a few marriages crash and burn because mom and dad forgot that they were people, individuals with lives all their own that require care and tending as well. Man and woman with adult needs, hopes, and dreams of their own.

I only have my mother left alive these days, and I have to say that I enjoy very much and have always enjoyed very much getting to know her as a person outside the role of mother. For every bit as much as I learned from her as a parent, there was only that much more I learned from her as an independent person with rich and varied life experiences.

There, nah, and it wasn’t even 6 am.

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