My Children Made me This Way

Since you only turn 13 once so..birthday party.  We haven’t really had any beyond family since we moved to MO from NY,  but it’s time to start again and D is the proud recipient of the first one to be thrown in Missouri.

Now, I like to do fun parties, themes that keep the kids active so that I don’t have boredom and all the things that cam lead to. I gave her a few options and she has decided on a sleepover,  chocolate spa theme. We are doing chocolate brown and pale turquise with gold and silver stars. The spa will be called ‘Etoile’ (french for star) and be my living room and dining room. Facials, manicures, pedicures, and movies. Plus the wii and the PS2 to play on. She’s only having 6 girls over, so it shouldn’t be to bad.

I am going to make her a website with an itinerary and menu and movie list and directions for her friends moms, just like a real spa would have. Planning the activities and the menu at the moment, looking up recipies for food and facials both. I’m also working on the logo for her goodie bags and invites as well as the menu. And I need to find a good cake recipie. I’ll have to post the logos and so on when I get them done.

Biggest downside so far? Chocolate recipe research makes me hungry.

I have no idea where to begin. None what so ever. I have tons and tons of information. Maybe too much of it, I don’t know. What I do know is that I need to start someplace and I haven’t a clue where that place is.

I think for one thing for us, or me at least, even what is likely behaviors that are part of F’s Aspergers are just part of her personality to me. They are things that have been part of her since..well..forever..and so I have learned to cope with them. Learned to compensate and handle. Maybe F would have been diagnosed earlier if I hadn’t used the idea that all kids are diffrent and she was just my Wild One.  I think I am worried that because I have learned to handle her behaviors for the most part inside our family that maybe those things are actually hindering her. Maybe I haven’t given her the tools to cope properly. And in all actuality I don’t think we have been coping well. I think we have just been getting by.

We started her on Concerta last week for the ADHD, and the change has been immediate. A huge diffrence in her ablity to focus and pay attention in class. So much so that she missed her dose yesterday and her teacher wrote a note asking if she had. My mother however says F has lost her sparkle. I think my mother has lost her mind. I see a little girl who is far more focused and calm. I think she might understand it more if she saw how F struggles all the time, something she is not privy too. Living near someone, taking them for overnights is not living with, and unless you are living with it I don’t think you can see the entire picture. Their are a lot of things that no one else see’s.

F is high functioning and that makes me wonder how hard it is going to be to get her help once I know what help I need to get her. Everyone focuses on the more profound cases. And I can understand that, those kids are so hard to reach. Those families need so much support. Add to that that here I am at the begining of all this with a 7 year old. Almost all the focus for beinging treatment is on toddlers. Under fives. Yet another reason to feel like I screwed up. And anothre reason for me to be angery. I have been fighting for this for her since she was 3. Four years. Time wasted? Opportunities lost for her? Will it be harder to teach her coping skill and thearapies because she has already started the foundations, even if they are wrong ones. So many things to relearn. It’s about reteaching her to think, to learn.

And finding where to start. I feel like I am looking for the start of a thread in a huge tangled ball. 101 possablities and nothing is familiar. Nothing at all.

 Today is, as I am sure you have likely gathered from the title of my posting, is World Autism Awareness Day. Aspergers Disorder as you may or may not be aware is in the Autism spectrum. There is a lot about Autism that people don’t know. Most people are familar with the classic images of what an Autistic child is. But there are other forms and manifestations of the disease. There are millions of children and adults living with it and as many variations of symptoms. So, I am going to share some information as well as some links because knowledge is a powerful thing.

  What is World Autism Day? How did it come about?

“On December 18, 2007, the United Nations General Assembly adopted resolution 62/139, tabled by the State of Qatar, which declares April 2 as World Autism Awareness Day (WAAD) in perpetuity. Her Highness Sheikha Mozah Bint Nasser Al-Missned, Consort of His Highness Sheikh Hamad Bin Khalifa Al-Thani, the Emir of the State of Qatar, supported the campaign for a World Autism Awareness Day through the current 62nd UN General Assembly Session, garnering consensus support from all United Nations Member States.

This UN resolution is one of only three official disease-specific United Nations Days and will bring the world’s attention to autism, a pervasive disorder that affects tens of millions. The World Autism Awareness Day resolution encourages all Member States to take measures to raise awareness about autism throughout society and to encourage early diagnosis and early intervention. It further expresses deep concern at the prevalence and high rate of autism in children in all regions of the world and the consequent developmental challenges.

World Autism Awareness Day shines a bright light on autism as a growing global health crisis. WAAD activities help to increase and develop world knowledge of the autism epidemic and  impart information regarding the importance of early diagnosis and early intervention. Additionally, WAAD celebrates the unique talents and skills of persons with autism and is a day when individuals with autism are warmly welcomed and embraced in community events around the globe.

By bringing together autism organizations all around the world, we will give a voice to the millions of individuals worldwide who are undiagnosed, misunderstood and looking for help. Please join us in our effort to inspire compassion, inclusion and hope. “ 

~World Autism Awareness Day.ORG

 What is is Autism?

Autism is a complex neurobiological disorder that typically lasts throughout a person’s lifetime. It is part of a group of disorders known as autism spectrum disorders (ASD). Today, 1 in 150 individuals is diagnosed with autism, making it more common than pediatric cancer, diabetes, and AIDS combined. It occurs in all racial, ethnic, and social groups and is four times more likely to strike boys than girls. Autism impairs a person’s ability to communicate and relate to others. It is also associated with rigid routines and repetitive behaviors, such as obsessively arranging objects or following very specific routines. Symptoms can range from very mild to quite severe.

~Autism Speaks: What is Autism, an Overview

Autism Speaks

AutismSpot.com

Autism research Institute

Autism Society of America

First Signs

Judevine

WorldAutismDay.org

 I will likely be posting a lot about this subject this month as April is Autism awareness month as well. Hmm..maybe I need two blogs.

It hit me this morning as the alarm was beeping from the girls room and I was trying to convince D that she needed to get up and stop hitting the snooze button that in 17 days I am going to be the mother of a teenager. I’ve known for ages that thirteen comes after twelve, and yet I found myself wondering how could this be.

I have decided I am not ready. I am not old enough. I said the very same things when I was in labor with her. I told a nurse that I didn’t want to do this (be in labor) any more and that I was just going to go home. So somehow I am certain that if I couldn’t stop it then, I can’t stop it now.

Again, time flies for me. Lags for her. I know it does..I remember. But times is about to start changing for her too, though she won’t know it for a while. Not till she looks back and wonders how the hell she got to <insert important life event> because she will still feel 12 somewhere inside. She is clamoring to grow up. Lip gloss and mascara. A boyfriend who walks her home from school. She’s gaining on me in height. She knows so much.

The nurse laughed when I said what I did to her. She smiled and she patted my hand and she said it was too late for that now. No turning back. And now is no different.

I’m not ready. However that doesn’t matter. D is.